She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
