No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize