real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
