Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
