nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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