I wanna bring you to show and tell
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I love having hate sex.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
