Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
