sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
