After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
