The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
