so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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