just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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