I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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