the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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