You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
