sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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