So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm passing your future prison.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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