Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
