Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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