Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want nice things and good sex
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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