Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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