He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
