I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
