I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
