I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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