Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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