Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
