No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i wish my penis had a tongue
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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