who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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