so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
