A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
