idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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