My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
