I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
