Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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