Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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