I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just had sex on a roof
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
