I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Sorry about my life...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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