i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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