Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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