Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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