Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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