Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize