Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
