also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
