I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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