im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
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Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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