So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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