what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
