Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
