As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
