I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
