You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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