mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize