respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
