come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
