I wish I could punch you in the face.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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