Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize