if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
