It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
