can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
