i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
