Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
