i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
