i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
