id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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