you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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